Updates

this shall be my update/reminder page, just in case im lazy to blog, but i would want to blog about a particular something in the near future.

23 Feb: just wrote  a poem :)

Hello from Wildfire

Just downloaded the WordPress app. This is awesome. Guess this blog will be revived soon.

Hello world. im alive.

woooo im alive. but i dont feel alive, literally. my eyelid is spotting a new pimple again. bloody hell. it has to visit again and again at least every month. feeling so sleepy because of it hurting. can barely open my eyes widely.

i feel so uninspired to blog. but heyyy there has been lotsa stuff i havent blogged about. my japan trip. my australia trip. my graduation ceremony. my first job (?). im just too lazy. to blog. arghhh. i need to get the drive back!!

briefly scanned through nisha’s blog and realised how trivial my blog posts are. you think soooo deep, girl!! so much that i feel ashamed of my entries!! haha.

Spammed

why are there so many spams under my poem post ‘Similes’??? O_o??

Is there something wrong?

have you ever felt like that there is something wrong with you when you see people who are younger than you get into relationships? for the past 21 years, i have been single. no status change. no progress with any special someone. no something. it’s a sticky situation for me when people talk about BGR. it’s not like i dont want to talk about it; i just dont have anything to talk about. and because i dont have anything to talk about, i choose to divert away from this topic.

dont tell me to wait because waiting is what i have been doing for a long time. maybe im not interesting enough. maybe im not funny enough. maybe im not petite enough. maybe im not skinny enough. maybe im not pretty enough. maybe im not girly enough. maybe im not attractive enough.

people actually turn homo because of similar situations like mine? i really wonder..okie not like im entertaining thoughts of turning gay because i love guys, generally speaking. but im starting to doubt my ability to actually love someone. like wholeheartedly. like what dramas always say when you think about the person all the time. when the first person you think of is the person when something bad or good happens. i havent had the chance to actually experience that because i dont hang out with guys often.

this is what happens when youre alone in the office and suddenly get news of younger friends being in a relationship. oh well, time to knock off from work.

Stuck

constantly in my head. AHHHH. someone save me! :P

Happy 2011!

hello hello! is there even anyone still reading this? haha. omg it’s 4 hours away from the last day of 2010 and 28 hours away from the first day of 2011!! any new year resolutions? hmmm, lose weight? HAHA. that will probably never be realised..maybe i should ask a friend who managed to lose like 2/3 sizes!! GAHH jealous. such determination.

when the new year comes, it also means that im nearing the end of my university life. what have i achieved? umm a degree? HAHA. sigh, where is my university sweetheart whom i will marry in the future ah?! HAHAHA. obviously, hes still missing. rawr. i guess ill find one when i go to work? lmao.

anyway, for those who dont know yet, my new eye candy is working in my school! LMAO. shall not divulge too much information in this open space. many eyes might be lurking. bleh. lets see how long this will last eh. and frankly speaking? im sad that im finishing school, because that means i cannot see him!! LOL T____T

thats all for now. i came in just to sweep off the layer of dust on this blog. i still have reports waiting for me.

Fighting Gravity

hate it when people show concern. i break down. damn those tears.

Think. Tank. Thoughts.

ive been talking to different people recently about some issues in life, and it made me realised that i am afraid of what we’re going through right now. i am afraid of the changes that will happen anytime soon. what happens if one of us has a bf? do we get to meet him? does he hang out with us? what if everyone slowly got a bf and soon how would the last person feel about being the last to get attached?

then comes the job part. will we actually share the amount of salary that we get when we all have jobs? will the different positions we managed to get pressure the others? will we meet lesser and lesser due to our hectic schedules until it’s only once a year? what if some of us migrate and hardly talk again?

arghhh i hate it when my brain thinks too much. and i hate it when i start to have THAT feeling again. trust me, it’s torturing.

Time of the Night

frustrated at when the time will come. it will never come will it? i hate it when i think too much and when i think back. goddammit. ill never know the reason, will i?

(Non)existent?

some of you might not know this..but i gotta get this off my chest.