Okay, so I feel demoralized again. Working in a company like this, isnt really gonna get me anywhere. or is it the course that is bringing me nowhere? ever since I got into this course, I found no meaning in life. I simply couldnt find what it is that I’m good in anymore. I lost the path towards what I want to do in future. or maybe the path wasnt even there at all?
Another farked screwed up day at work. Doing nothing except to get scoffed at not face-to-face but through MSN, to tell me that I havent met the requirements of why I’m sitting at this desk in the first place, it further emphasises the fact that I dont even know what or why I’m even doing this anymore.
Maybe it is a good thing this will all come to an end in 46 days, but when it is time to face the music, there is no running away. what have I learnt from this whole journey? probably a thing or two, but other than that, probably lessons that taught me that I dont have the business brains, nor the ability to even depend on own my when I’m out in the real world.
The real world is too complicated for me. competing to reach the top of the ladder, proving that you are worthy and capable of what you’re doing, sucking up to your boss’s ass and maintaining relationships with colleagues that are close enough to talk out of lunch and work. Pfft, so tiring.
I wish I could live my life by being my mummy’s girl. I dont have to worry about a single thing in life. Mummy would always be there for me, to shelter and take care of my every need.
But life isnt that simple, otherwise why would the whole world be like this today? Terrorists and natural disasters, screwed up world. why? because the people are screwed up.
